He's 9. And tomorrow will be the first day of fifth grade. This afternoon, our son made a random announcement, "I want to move!... To my own room!"
Really? Ok... so as I wonder where the fear of noises in the night and of the sound of wind went that prompted him to share a room with his brother 15 months younger, I begin to calculate how to coordinate such a move with not just clothes, but also all his worldly belongings.
To my surprise, he tells me he really only needs his laptop, earphones, and of course, his Yamaha Keyboard. Duh Mom! Right?
Okay. I know. So he hasn't technically moved "out of the house" yet. Sure, we've been through this already with his older sister, now 23 and living on her own. But as we said our prayers at bedtime this evening in his "new" room, he chatters away about how excited he is to meet his new teacher, how grown up he feels as a fifth grader, how much he loves his new Minecraft tee shirt from Kohl's,... I am picturing my two little boys that only hours ago shared a bedroom.
The endless hours of Beyblades, clutter of all things boys everywhere, piles of dirty underwear, jumping beds across the room, giggles about fart jokes, episodes of TMNT, and the hysterical nightly naked butt shaking.
From my child that once told us that he planned to go to college online in order to enjoy the comforts of home, kinda makes me wonder what to expect next. Do you know what I mean? As moms, we will get all kinds of calls/texts from our children. Don't we? Whether it is "Mom! I got all A's," "Mom, I got my best running time!" "Mom, can Ben sleep over?"... or... when it gradually becomes... "Mom! I met a girl!" "Mom, we finally set a date!" "Mom... my boyfriend crashed my car. We're ok!" "Mom... can you pick me up early?" to, eventually things like "Mom... I joined the military; I'm moving to Chicago; I need a loan; I'm pregnant..."
It all starts with a move across the hall.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
Nearly two years ago, Isaac, then 7 years old, made the announcement among tears, wails, and sobs, that he "would never play the piano again!" He "hated" the piano. Playing the piano wasn't "manly"... With great big tears in his eyes, Isaac said, "Mom, I tried to play piano because I knew it made YOU happy; but I just don't want to play anymore."
:-( I was devastated, to say the least! You could have picked up little pieces of my heart all over the floor. How could this child with a gentle soul get so upset about playing piano? I came to realize through his statement that it really was me pressuring him to do and be something that I wanted from him... not something that he wanted.
Although, I thought I knew best. I tried everything from bribery, negotiations, to outright paying him cash to practice. I pushed all those buttons with Lego's, candy, to cupcakes. But Isaac just dug in his heels and refused to play anymore.
It really was heartbreaking to have this beautiful silent instrument in the house. At barely 3 years old, Isaac would play by ear his own rendition of "Ode to Joy" to a jazzy version of his own "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star". As a kindergartner, he would compose his own little songs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SbH-L1lrJ0 What had I done? Instead, his interest had turned to Nerf guns, Mario Kart and Minecraft.
Those stinking video games!
So, I waited. And I prayed. Dear God, how can You give this little boy a gift like that and just turn it off? Why would You show him, and us, the magic of music and then have it silent? And God said:
"Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act." (Psalm 37:7)
Hold on! Although it took me days to realize it, it wasn't a video game or even God.
It.was.me.
Yes. And, hadn't I been through this lesson before? Well, many times actually! Waiting. Why is waiting for God so hard? Haven't I had to be patient many times? Like all those months we waited and struggled over life's lessons, like... when we couldn't get pregnant, heard about Brugada and Parkinson's, going back to work, family illness, finances, health....
Then I got it. When we wait on God and are patient, "we rejoice in the hope and glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." (Romans 5:3-4).
I found that when I place ALL my hope on God, and fully trust His plan (although it wasn't revealed to me), when He finally reveals His purpose, even his gifts, they were like sweet, sweet music.
Isaac is playing piano again. And this now 47-year-old-grey-haired-hott-mama-of-four has learned, again, to be patient and wait. Wait in His presence. Wait on His time. Wait for His plan. My phablet has this video clip of Isaac playing his Hobbit song just a few days ago. Isaac actually asked me to record him and I finally fingured out how to load it. While showing Katrina (the adorable hairdresser at Total Image), Isaac clues her with a dramatic "Wait for it.... wait for it!" before his fingers explode! Check this out:
God just has a way of making connections, doesn't he? A few weeks ago, I saw an ad in the Morgan Messenger for a piano teacher and, quite cautiously, proposed to Isaac about checking it all out. Thanks and praises for Johnny Robinson, a new teacher that promotes making the piano fun. Get this: not only does Johnny call his studio "The Hobbit House" (go figure!) but his email is "spirit design music"! I tried to share below Isaac's first recording session there (hope it works because it is an amazing example of how Isaac is learning to play all parts by ear and Johnny records it together! A bit of a mystery to me.)
Prayerfully, God will reward our patience and, when He does, it's well, how can I express this? I might be wrong about this but I don't think He wants us to wait as long as dying, going to heaven and stuff like that. No. Just like Isaac tells people to "wait for it" when he plays this song, the wait for this mom to hear him play piano brought me quite a lesson in not only patience but also that it has to be His plan, not mine.
I think I see my faith rejoice and rewarded in the little things; like each time Levi looses a tooth or gets another freckle; Violet speeds across the court; Caity texts me from her DC job; the boys fold me another origami ornament for the tree; or when Dan steps towards me for a hug; and now..., Isaac playing piano.
The wait is just preparing me to be strong during the struggles with big stuff like PD and disappointments. It's not like I expect Isaac to be the next Elton John, or anything. But I think God wants me to know it's okay if my kids don't turn out to be rocket scientists or brain surgeons. They're just kids. Enjoy them now, no matter what they decide to do - "manly" or not!
Does that make sense? Parenting really is an "unexpected adventure".
