:-( I was devastated, to say the least! You could have picked up little pieces of my heart all over the floor. How could this child with a gentle soul get so upset about playing piano? I came to realize through his statement that it really was me pressuring him to do and be something that I wanted from him... not something that he wanted.
Although, I thought I knew best. I tried everything from bribery, negotiations, to outright paying him cash to practice. I pushed all those buttons with Lego's, candy, to cupcakes. But Isaac just dug in his heels and refused to play anymore.
It really was heartbreaking to have this beautiful silent instrument in the house. At barely 3 years old, Isaac would play by ear his own rendition of "Ode to Joy" to a jazzy version of his own "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star". As a kindergartner, he would compose his own little songs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?
Those stinking video games!
So, I waited. And I prayed. Dear God, how can You give this little boy a gift like that and just turn it off? Why would You show him, and us, the magic of music and then have it silent? And God said:
"Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act." (Psalm 37:7)Hold on! Although it took me days to realize it, it wasn't a video game or even God.
Yes. And, hadn't I been through this lesson before? Well, many times actually! Waiting. Why is waiting for God so hard? Haven't I had to be patient many times? Like all those months we waited and struggled over life's lessons, like... when we couldn't get pregnant, heard about Brugada and Parkinson's, going back to work, family illness, finances, health....
Then I got it. When we wait on God and are patient, "we rejoice in the hope and glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." (Romans 5:3-4).
I found that when I place ALL my hope on God, and fully trust His plan (although it wasn't revealed to me), when He finally reveals His purpose, even his gifts, they were like sweet, sweet music.
Isaac is playing piano again. And this now 47-year-old-grey-haired-hott-mama-of-four has learned, again, to be patient and wait. Wait in His presence. Wait on His time. Wait for His plan. My phablet has this video clip of Isaac playing his Hobbit song just a few days ago. Isaac actually asked me to record him and I finally fingured out how to load it. While showing Katrina (the adorable hairdresser at Total Image), Isaac clues her with a dramatic "Wait for it.... wait for it!" before his fingers explode! Check this out:
God just has a way of making connections, doesn't he? A few weeks ago, I saw an ad in the Morgan Messenger for a piano teacher and, quite cautiously, proposed to Isaac about checking it all out. Thanks and praises for Johnny Robinson, a new teacher that promotes making the piano fun. Get this: not only does Johnny call his studio "The Hobbit House" (go figure!) but his email is "spirit design music"! I tried to share below Isaac's first recording session there (hope it works because it is an amazing example of how Isaac is learning to play all parts by ear and Johnny records it together! A bit of a mystery to me.)
Listen to this:
Isaac's arrangement for The Hobbit
Prayerfully, God will reward our patience and, when He does, it's well, how can I express this? I might be wrong about this but I don't think He wants us to wait as long as dying, going to heaven and stuff like that. No. Just like Isaac tells people to "wait for it" when he plays this song, the wait for this mom to hear him play piano brought me quite a lesson in not only patience but also that it has to be His plan, not mine.
I think I see my faith rejoice and rewarded in the little things; like each time Levi looses a tooth or gets another freckle; Violet speeds across the court; Caity texts me from her DC job; the boys fold me another origami ornament for the tree; or when Dan steps towards me for a hug; and now..., Isaac playing piano.
The wait is just preparing me to be strong during the struggles with big stuff like PD and disappointments. It's not like I expect Isaac to be the next Elton John, or anything. But I think God wants me to know it's okay if my kids don't turn out to be rocket scientists or brain surgeons. They're just kids. Enjoy them now, no matter what they decide to do - "manly" or not!
Does that make sense? Parenting really is an "unexpected adventure".